Women & Rape

I just finished reading the book, "The Family" the last novel by Mario Puzo. The book is pretty much about the filth in the family of Rodrigo Borgia, also the Pope Alexander VI - I couldnt believe all of it was true, until I researched a bit more to find out it could have been. Also, war rapes, especially raping women of the defeated/invaded country, seems to have been a common thing and this got me into writing this post.

In many cultures, raping women is considered as a form of insult incurred to the victims, their family or community - war rapes are a common thing and it is quite uncommon that a war ended without rapes.

Raping women is usually associated with a woman's honor - at least so in India. Women are supposedly highly respected & their chastity considered even more important in India. That they can be raped makes women look more vulnerable, even though the same thing can happen to a man. Staying chaste through out life and a virgin before wedding is a mandate for women in most parts of India.

Sex education was and still is a taboo pretty much in India and my parents never taught me anything about it when I grew up. Leave alone talk, it was never even mentioned. Nevertheless I learnt a lot of right and wrong things about the topic here and there. From magazines, watching the indian masala movies, etc... I didnot know what sexual abuse was until a long time - can you think of any Indian movie where child sexual abuse & the emotional trauma it can cause is the theme - I only can remember movies in which kids talk like adults.

So, there was this TV serial - a thriller one that we all loved to watch as a family. The lead female character in this serial was a smart medical student, very curious and inquisitive. She visits her friend's hometown, a remote south indian village. She is intrigued by the beliefs of the locals about the myths of the local deity and the temple. She breaks the village temple rules & in the process solves puzzles to unearth some wealth stored away in the village. It is an interesting storyline, but coming to its relevance to this post, she is raped by a patient with psycological disorders, MPD , and it is discovered only later. The girl comes about as though nothing happened after the rape - the lack of usual crying and drama surprised me and her reaction made perfect sense to me and I think it is a big blow to the society and bold step for women. I realised a woman rape victim doesn't have to act any different. She continues her life with her usual cheer & enthusiasm. To me, this was an eye-opener to realising that if people didnt consider raping a woman more than a mere physical assault, our poor men would have nothing else to do to insult women.

I made up my mind that day that I will teach my kids about sex when they are ready to know it and prepare them for the society/community with ridiculous beliefs, practices and notions.

I rested assured that day with Gandhiji's quote that means - "Nobody can take away your respect/honor unless you give it".